Fergie Considering Bids For Atkinson And Clattenburg?

What he said. What he probably thought.

Regarding Rooney’s elbow, after the win at Wigan,

I have had a chance to see it. There is nothing in it. Mark Clattenburg saw it. I think he said it was an accident.

Atta boy Mark. Looks like a reliable chap. Might need him next year as these players are awful away from home.

After Clattenburg insisted he’d seen the incident,

The rules are straight and clearly there. Mark Clattenburg dealt with it, he spoke to the player and gave the free-kick to Wigan. That was the end of the story.

The one person who comes out with great credit is the referee himself as he was obviously under tremendous pressure, probably from the Football Association and from the media, which we expected. It’s over with.

Hmmm, the lad has guts to stand by a shocking decision. It’s a rare quality. I can bully the media but anyone I sign will still need such a thick skin. Howard can’t do it all on his own. Perhaps it’s time to get him some help.

After the Chelsea game on the penalty,

The penalty kick was so soft. Deary me.

If I can turn Martin, Wayne will be unstoppable.

On the Luiz tackle,

It was incredible. Even before that he’d done Chicharito off the ball. He’d done him late. Nothing done, the referee’s in front of it. He does Rooney clear as day, (the referee is) six yards from it, he doesn’t do anything. That changed the game. These are decisions that change the game. And he’s going to be refereeing every week.

That’s as good as Clattenburg if not better. If he can do it to Wayne in this manner just imagine how great he will be when he’s on our side. Wonder what it will take to pinch him from the Blues. It will certainly be cheaper to get these two than half a dozen new players.

On Chelsea’s title hopes,

If they get decisions like tonight then it can change everything. They got a lot of decisions tonight that surprised me.

I thought I made it clear to Riley that our biggest competitive advantage cannot be shared with anyone else. Martin showed real class but how dare he do it against us. If it happens again we’ll be in trouble. Where’s Riley, I must tear him a new one. That’s the only way these people will learn.

Just How Pathetic Have Arsenal Been This Season?!

A lot of people were frustrated and riled (choose your favourite adjectives) over the result at Ipswich. I can understand it because that’s just how I felt. Even though I try to ensure I don’t have unrealistic expectations there are times when it’s difficult to accept a performance. Wednesday night was a classic example.

But I find it equally difficult to accept the reaction of some fans. In fact, it’s unbearable. Judging by what I’ve been reading recently, it seems Arsenal have been absolutely pathetic this season. Half the squad is no good, some that are good enough don’t have the right mentality, the manager is clueless, and such other extreme opinions have been gaining strength. Not surprising given a home draw and an away loss against Championship sides in the last two games.

I thought it might be interesting to see how the top English teams have done this season. Here is a combined table for performances in all competitions for the top five clubs.

Immediately upon making that table, I realised these fans are geniuses. Arsenal have been an absolute shambles. My sincere apologies to every doom monger for genuinely believing in this team. How very naive of me!

The most obvious observation is that they haven’t won all their matches. We should not care that City and the Spuds have won 50 percent or less of their games or that Chelsea have a lower winning percentage than Arsenal. A club like Arsenal should be winning all their games.

Arsenal’s poor win record comes from the fact that there are no 20 goal strikers at the club, Arshavin is useless and doesn’t care, Cesc wants to be at Barca, there are no real wingers, no one can put a decent cross, and no one really wants to shoot at goal. The fact that Arsenal have scored 11 goals more than the next best just shows that we can do anything with statistics.

The central defenders are completely useless and this can be seen from the goals conceded. Arsenal are conceding 1 goal a game whereas United and Chelsea only concede 0.93! The Tiny Totts have been so good this season. They’re only conceding 1.38 goals per game. What a mistake it was to let Gallas leave. Arsene should learn from ‘Arry and buy English defenders like Dawson.

The best proof that Wenger must spend can be clearly seen from the performances of Man City. Their defensive record is even better than that of United and Chelsea!! And they’ve only lost 6 games compared to Arsenal’s 8. That’s 25 percent less losses than Arsenal. How’s that for a stat?! It doesn’t matter that they drew with Leicester City in the FA Cup or lost to a team like Lech Poznan in the Europa League.

Their loss against Arsenal at home was clearly an aberration. We all saw how great City were at the Emirates. They showed the value of buying proven central defenders and defensive midfielders. They also exposed all of Arsenal’s attacking weaknesses that I mentioned above.

Considering these facts I think it’s only fair that the fans are not getting behind the players when they’ve struggled for form. I mean why should a fan cheer someone like Arshavin who is making big bucks and not delivering. Just look at someone like Bale, now that’s a guy who should be cheered. He’s got 7 goals and 3 assists in the League at a rate of a goal or assist every 185 minutes. Just because Arshavin has 4 goals and 9 assists at a rate of a goal or assist every 108 minutes doesn’t mean he’s actually done well. Stats can even show that Arshavin’s overall contribution is better than Nasri’s who’s got a goal or assist in the League every 139 minutes. We all know that’s rubbish! Arsenal win because Nasri has been phenomenal and struggle because Arshavin has been useless.

We can all see he’s lazy and underperforming. It’s his job to lift the fans out of their miserable lives by winning matches and scoring wonder goals. It’s preposterous to suggest that fans should get behind the team or an out of form player when they’re not doing well.

I used to think Arsenal have a great squad and they’re trying hard. I think I was confused because Arsenal are the only team who are still in all four competitions. But based on the ‘facts’ discussed in this article, I’m beginning to change my mind. I’m sure there are a lot more observations that prove how wretched Arsenal have been this season. Please feel free to share your favourites.

PS: I hope I don’t have to explain this article.

Arshavin’s Law: “If you do not score, you’ll concede”

Arsenal’s Andrey Arshavin has just created the First Law of Football (the ones created by FIFA don’t count, after all even  the ref’s don’t always implement them!)

When asked about Arsenal’s failure to turn the early advantage into a game winning score Arshavin said,

Yes. After that we had a few good chances. But here comes the law of football: “If you do not score, you’ll concede.” So that’s what happened to us. The Fulham players tried break through several times. They succeeded once. It’s good that we missed a goal in the first half, and not at the end of the second one …

There is more and you can see it on this link. He calls Nasri’s first goal beautiful and the second one a masterpiece.

Anyway, the purpose of this article is to officially declare (I’ll pretend I can) Arshavin’s First Law of Football – ” If you do not score, you’ll concede”.

It must be noted that this law is particularly applicable to Arsenal FC and the few other teams that play with a positive approach all the time. Well placed sources have said that the manager-who-must-not-be-named is currently reworking his laws of Anti-Football after five glaring holes were recently discovered in his theories. Till then enjoy the first law of Football from one of the game’s finest.

How Can Anyone Hate Spuds!?

I have been watching Arsenal for about a decade now and have never quite understood this rivalry and the hatred that our fans have towards the neighbours. I can understand that there is some history and the old timers might have seen a great rivalry develop but it was all a long time ago. Shouldn’t we just leave them and their misery alone?

I think our fans do Spuds a great honour by even considering this a rivalry. The single biggest point on their CV must be “Arsenal’s Greatest Rivals” because they hardly have anything else. A rivalry IMHO can only exist if there is competition. Otherwise it’s meaningless.

Here is what the dictionary says:

Rivalry — A person or thing that is in a position to dispute another’s preeminence or superiority.

Till this day I had never bothered much about the lilywhites. I had to give them some thought today because I had to write something about them. But it wasn’t making any sense. So, I ended up looking up their history. In the last two decades they have got a FA cup and have managed some League Cup success. I didn’t bother going farther back in time. Does it even merit a comparison?

In a way they are the antithesis of Arsenal. Our manager has been around for a record number of years. They might soon make a record for sacking managers. We are the most envied club in terms of youth development. Do you remember the last one from their academy? We make a profit on transfers almost every year and they spend insane amounts by selling players and buying them back at a higher rate!

When was the last time they beat us in the league? Nearly a decade ago, wasn’t it? They dream about the Champions League and we have been participating in the tournament for twelve straight years. When we have a disaster we finish fourth. When they have a great year they finish fifth. Does anyone talk about the beautiful football played by Spuds? Does anyone talk about “The Totnumb Way” in any context at all!?

Seriously, with due respect to the old timers, can someone tell me why we shouldn’t take on someone our own size and leave the Tiny Tots in their league.  How can we all waste our emotions on a club that hardly merits a thought? Think whatever you want of me, I refuse to hate the lilywhites.