Hillarious Allardyce: “I would be more suited to Inter Milan or Real Madrid”

Well this has nothing to do with Arsenal. In fact, Arsenal are conspicuous by their absence in the names that Allardyce has mentioned. But I haven’t stopped laughing since I read this so it’s worth sharing.

Speaking before the game against Fulham, Fat Sam said:

I’m not suited to Bolton or Blackburn, I would be more suited to Inter Milan or Real Madrid.

I might die laughing just from that one sentence. But that’s not all, it gets even better,

It wouldn’t be a problem to me to go and manage those clubs because I would win the double or the league every time.

His delusions don’t end here. Now the Walrus sets his sight on the Premiership.

Give me Manchester United or Chelsea and I would do the same, it wouldn’t be a problem.

There would be nothing better than seeing Chelsea managed by Fat Sam. The title would be ours without a fight! Then he goes on to insult the clubs where he has been and where he presently is,

It’s not where I’m suited to, it’s just where I’ve been for most of the time.

There is a very good reason you’re where you are. Mid-table in England, that’s where you belong. Other countries would have thrown out a manager with such a primitive style. Finally, we get an example of how clueless he is and his naivety also brings out his disrespect for what other top managers are doing and achieving,

It’s not a problem to take me into the higher reaches of the Champions League or Premier League and would make my job a lot easier in winning it.

It’s been a while since I got a stomach ache from laughing hard but this one is worth the pain.

35 Responses to Hillarious Allardyce: “I would be more suited to Inter Milan or Real Madrid”

  1. am says:

    haha Fat Sam has finally lost his mind.

    Id love to see Ronaldo’s face when he is introduced at their training ground.

    A good prank would be to phone up FAT SAM and offer him a job there.

  2. Barry Webb says:

    More suitable because:

    Real Madrid sack decent managers so Allardyce would last the day! Anything that can be done to keep this individual away from football is something worth doing.

  3. Dutchgunner says:

    thanks desi, what a laugh!
    “It wouldn’t be a problem to me to go and manage those clubs because I would win the double or the league every time.” this is just perfect. I would love to see him coach real madrid lol, he would sell off ronaldo kaka and use that money to bring in some rugby players to hoof the ball up the field, Oh, and dont forget you need a pederson type player for those long throws that are so important to his superior tactics!

  4. aravindvr says:

    yup BigSam is right.
    even I believe I can make a top team win ChampionsLeague this year.

    PES 2011 demo is out.So is Fifa 11.

    Wen they release the games next month, Sam is gonna give it his best try- ya may be Chelski,ManU or may be Wengers hotseat.

    while the old man guides his playstation team thru ChampionsLeague, his assistant Mike Tyson will take care of actual Premiership.
    a new pair of Boxing Gloves could do the trick.

  5. sabrerat says:

    fat Sam you prick. I wish he gets put in charge of Chelsea for a month… then they get relagated…

    How did you do at Newcastle you fat bastard? Mutherfukkin overinflated spacehopper!

  6. Goonerpower says:

    Bless him, maybe they did a brain transplant opposed to a heart by-pass/surgery.

    Did he really say this…….strange to big yourself up like this?

  7. La Shiz says:

    Aaand so would every Tom, Dick and ‘Arry…

    You wish, fatso!

  8. pete says:

    This guy is a cow! He’ll drag AC and Madrid to mid table. Newcastle was atleast a better club 2 yrs ago before he showed up and single handedly dragged them to relegation zone. Fat Ass

  9. adam says:

    I guess that during his recent heat swap with a Walrus they must have deprived his pea-sized brain of oxygen.

  10. adam says:

    heart-swap. Sorry.

  11. haha fat sam is not a bad fb manager, at least he make man city drop points , with his fb style , lets hope he injured top team player or at least make them drop points , come on , pl will be boring without ppl like him. hehe

  12. ken says:

    what a stupid fat cunt. A man capable of verbal vomit like this should never be taken seriously. It will be a good day when he is sacked and never given another oppurtunity to manage in the premiership with his horrible style of football

  13. Uniquegoner says:


  14. drvics (mumbai gooner) says:

    Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam.
    The only thing that can be said for certain is that, if Fat Sam’s team was the only team playing in the Champions League, they would still end up in the second position…..

  15. Bala says:

    I would give him the jobs of Manu,Chelsea,Real,Barca and surely Spurs so that we can easily win all the titles

  16. sharan says:

    What an insult to his own players, suggesting that it is their mediocrity that is denying him titles. Not that I care for Blackburn but just exeplifies what an idiot of a manager he is. Would like to read the whole interview to see what provoked these responses. Real could not wint titles with far more accomplished managers and he thinks that he can just show up, stuff himself with tapas during the game and win the league. El Stupido.

  17. Lanz says:

    How can anyone be this deluded?

  18. John says:

    Not only is he a total clown, he also insults the supporters of the club he is managing now “I’m not suited to Bolton or Blackburn”

  19. n1 says:

    This is quite possibly the funniest football story I’ve ever read…ha…last week he could manage England….now he thinks he could win the champions league, ha. If he had a top class player he wouldn’t know what to do with him…oh wait he did…Anelka…he stuck him up front and it almost ended his career, Anelka not fat sam that is (oh how we can dream).

    Delusion doesn’t quite cover it, words can not express.

  20. Shevo says:

    Sam A-Lard-Arse …Real Madrid Manager ….ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!…,fuck me what what joke this guy is becoming…

  21. lionsah says:

    Just imagine he instructs Real Madril players to kick their opponents.. LOL

  22. Dhruv says:

    This is the same mug who dropped Bolton without so much as a second look and “upgraded” to Newcastle. He could hold on to the Newcastle job how the hell does he plan on guiding the biggest clubs in Europe. Delusional to say the least.

  23. gul says:

    this dumb ass is playing a lot of football manager.Coach RM?…dat wil be the day.He’s obviously not the brightest fellow england has produced

  24. Talia says:

    Allardyce is a footballing oaf. A walrus out of water.

    Why anyone listens to a word he says is beyond belief. And why anyone bothers to react to them is even more confounding.

    That he’s the Bernard Manning of English football managers is an insult to Bernard Manning – something I’d probably have never thought possible.

  25. Gunner Young says:

    This has got to be a wind up!!!

    It’s the most laughable comment I have ever read. Please forward to the Newcastle fans, they sussed him out straight away.

  26. Gunner Young says:


    You are so wrong, he’s the greatest comedian since Manning!

  27. GoonerWellmo says:

    The FA should charge Fat Sam with bringing the game into distripute for pure stupidity and arrogance
    After the monumental fuck up he did at Newcastle he’s lucky to have a job.

  28. santori says:

    In truth, Wenger should chew some after match gum (or fat) with Big Sam. Poor fellow just doesn’t think he is good enough for England or Arsene’s company, hence the whinging. 😉

  29. Arsenalsince1970 says:

    Cant blame fat sam cos he feels rejected by wenger all the time, ha ha.

  30. g4e85 says:

    oh my fatty just made my day hahahahaha

  31. flyingGooners says:

    haha nice.

  32. Ameen says:

    I thought Mr.bean is the funniest guy,Fat sam has proved me wrong 😉

  33. donkey says:

    wow…..the man is shitting were he eats…..no wonder hes lost the plot….wonder what madrid and milan would think about this pie eaters comments!!

  34. simianwolverine says:

    I think we should stop calling Fat Sam a walrus. It is an insult to the intelligence to the walruses around the world. Can anyone come up with a more suitable name? (On other hand, can’t we just use Fat Sam to insult other people?)

    • desigunner says:

      😀 not a bad suggestion at all.

      Anytime we have someone talking like an idiot … stop being a Fat Sam … and stuff like that … I like it, lol.

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